So, why a blog after all these years? The answer is simple. Some days/weeks are harder to get through than others and this week has been particularly difficult. After yet another argument when the soul destroying demon narcolepsy overtook my husband's reasoning skills, I suddenly realised that there was no-one that I could really talk to. No-one who understood what it was really like to live alongside "narcolepsy". Sure, my husband knows what it's like for him but what about me? The resentment and frustration that I occassionally feel. The fact that I put his illness first all of the time and when I needed him to put me first, the seduction of sleep won every time.
Just as I was ready to scream the frustrations away I discovered a blog. Not just any blog though. A blog written by a narcoleptic's wife. A wife who I could relate to completely. Someone who not only expressed the same frustrations that I was feeling, but felt the same guilt at expressing them. I drank in her posts about the mood swings, nodded my head at her post about feeling isolated and felt her pain when she blogged about the affects of living alongside narcolepsy when tiredness/sleep is the mistress above EVERYTHING. Not only that but she had replies to her blog posts, replies from other narcaleptic spouses, all able to relate and reassure.
And suddenly I realised that I was not alone.
I was also reminded about all the different ways that narcolepsy makes my husband feel, something that is ever present but something that I'd also became complacent about. Sadly, there have been no updates from The Narcoleptics wife for over a year. In one of my darkest moments, her blog shone out as a beacon of hope. I hope that this blog can maybe help someone in the future, just like The Narcoleptic's Wife helped me.
No comments:
Post a Comment